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Are you struggling with the prospect of telling your children about your divorce or separation?

by TFS Admin 14th October 2022

Whilst statistics indicate that children aged 6-12 years are the most affected by divorce, the prospect of parental separation can be an upsetting time for children of all ages. It’s an unenviable conversation which may be daunting and so you may wish to consider: -

  1. Pre-planning what you intend to say beforehand and if possible agree with your ex-partner what is said.
  2. If possible, tell your children together with your ex-partner.
  3. Tell your children in an environment where they feel safe, for example, at home.
  4. Be sure to choose the timing of the conversation wisely.
  5. Be honest, but avoid blaming the other parent. Keep your reasons simple and age appropriate, but without divulging too much detail.
  6. Make your children aware of what changes will occur and when.
  7. Inform your children of future arrangements and tell them what routines will remain.
  8. Reassure your children that they are still loved by both parents and it’s not their fault.
  9. Understand that your children may have questions. Let them express their emotions without pressuring them.
  10. Appreciate that your children may need time and space to come to terms with the news.
  11. Consider informing school so that they can be sensitive to possible changes in behaviour.

You may find that children relate well to other companions in similar positions to enable them to feel better supported and reassured.

Other resources may be helpful too. There are a range of books available for children of all ages designed to comfort and help them come to terms with their parents’ separation. The BookTrust have collated a list of the best children’s books to help talk about divorce and separation, details of which can be found below: -

Best children's books to help talk about divorce and separation | BookTrust

If you require advice regarding any matter arising from your separation then contact a member of our Family Team at either of our Warwickshire (01926 887700) or Leicestershire (01455 610747) offices for a consultation.

We have offices in Hinckley, Stoney Stanton and Leamington Spa. You can find details of our offices here.